do it again

im a people pleaser.

it most likely will be the death of me.

designer shades just to hide your face

monday. ugh.

spent the day at school. then driving youngin's around. pool. now homework.

i'm not sure i like this cycle.

the weather is too hot and i just seem so conflicted in my heart.

drama has calmed down at school.

less than 2 weeks til summer. then 3 months til freedom.

i want to write books but i cant seem to start.

i need dedication.

a patient endurance.

i've been soooo self conscious lately. i'm gaining weight. i know it. i don't even dare step on the scale. i'm overweight, i'm sure. it burns my eyes to see that fat that jiggles all over my body. it makes me want to hide in a corner or starve myself til my ribs stick out. then i'll walk the streets. in my swim suit. screw curves and average- i want to be media beautiful.

i have awesome best friends. (jen and allie)

my two closest are single and have problems with men right now.

ugh i want them to feel the rush of love and know that they are worth it.

i'd give a bullet for them.

we're parting next year for college. i will not shed a single tear, but rather a flood.

im going to miss them soooo much. no one knows me like they do.

God- wow i need to spend more time seeking him. i've been so self centered lately.

i need to evaluate my life and rearrange my life.